Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
