nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
