matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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