I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
