just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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