She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
