Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize