Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
