who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So many bounce houses so little time
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
