just come out here and I will go home with you...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
