on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
