i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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