Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
