I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i dont even know how to be here
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
