I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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