i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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