So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
