I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize