Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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