I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
