he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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