meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
