he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
