I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So many bounce houses so little time
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
