Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
