Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize