i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
