can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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