there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
