this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
