What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
