how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
