You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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