I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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