What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
not ubering you a puppy
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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