i think my mom watched the whole time
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
