high people should be assigned attendants
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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