Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize