The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
