Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
