Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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