Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
