Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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