Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
