Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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