just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
