No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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