She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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