Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
