respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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