yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
