you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
