Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
