wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize