So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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