have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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