So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
