No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize