So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
