how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I see more hoeing in ur future
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
