meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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