Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
