i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize