Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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