I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
