The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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