K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
