We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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