I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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