I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
