I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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